Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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