so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
