he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
