Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
