A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
