I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
