Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
