If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
