I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
