I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
