And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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