I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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