some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
