I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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