how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
