How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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