We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
