spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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