I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
