I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
