We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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