i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I understand Curling. That high.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm at about main and main street
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize