His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
