why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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