It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
