return my video game
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
