i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She announced her abortion via fbk
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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