Will you blow on my dice?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
