do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
