I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
