he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize