Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
