don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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