i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
