He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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