(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
