I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i out mim tonsoeep
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