if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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