How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize