Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
