May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
