This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize