Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
