yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So squirting runs in the family.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
