I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
