So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
