I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Randomize
