He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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