no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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