you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
