don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just high enough for therapy.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
