There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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