Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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