Do you still have your period?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
