i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
