so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
