We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
