i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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