so explain again why im purple
no
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
