Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
