You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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