who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
